Fish Schticks

a completely serious fish appreciation page

Blob the pufferfish
Fish No. 1

Blob

Blob is a pufferfish who has never once been in a hurry. He floats. He ponders. He inflates when startled by his own reflection.

"Some of us puff up to look bigger. Blob puffs up just to feel something."
Karen the shark
Fish No. 2

Karen

Karen is a shark who has never eaten anyone. Not because she can't — she simply finds the whole thing beneath her. She has standards.

"Apex predator. Vegan by choice. Disappointed by everything."
Steve the clownfish
Fish No. 3

Steve

Steve is a clownfish who is not funny. He knows this. The other fish know this. He keeps trying anyway — which, honestly, is the funniest thing about him.

"Ships every joke. Zero percent hit rate. Bias for action."